mmmmmmmmmmmmm coffeee

so i'm heading home in a few minutes to pack for FLORIDA! woohoo i'm so excited to not work for a week!! i'm feeling kind of guilty though. a: because i don't really have the fundage to go crazy down there. b: because i know that there's going to be some sort of paperwork i'm going to need to sign for my house and i'm going to be gone! and c: because i haven't been working out as much lately and am gaining weight again. this vacation certainly won't help. oh and i'll miss all my friends and so on and so forth.. but i'll make it back alive i guess.. unless while we're at myakah river state park we get a little TOOOOOO close to one of their many alligators.. the last time we were there, my brother went off into the woods by himself. when he came back, he had too small red marks on his hand and told me he had been bitten by a snake. i freaked. we went straight back to my aunt's house..the entire time with him drifting in and out of consciousness. i'm seriously thinking my brother's gonna go into a coma or something. i tried convincing him we needed to go to the hospital.. but he adamently refused. that should have tipped me off. as soon as we got back i rushed inside to find my dad, and we came back outside, my brother was walking around and acting like nothing had happened. prick. that's the only time i've ever slapped a man and meant it.

sorry i'm so lazy

sometimes blogging requires too much work for me to think about it. this week at the real job i've actually been busy! since i'll be in florida all next week, i've been getting a lot of things finished up so they're not waiting for me when i get back. usually this would be no problem, since half the time i have nothing to do anyways. but as murphy's law would have it, everyone's been coming to me this week giving me stuff to do. but i'm a pro, i can handle it.

i can't wait to go to florida. it'll be so good to go a week with little worries. of course, it won't be all fun and games. the whole purpose of the trip to visit my grandpa. he is about to turn 80, and alzheimer's has taken ahold of him. bad. isn't it strange that the sweetest man on the planet has to be succombed to this? and my other grandfather, one of the biggest jackasses to ever live, is around 85 and super sharp. granted, he has to be on dialisys, but at least he knows it. i haven't spent much time around my favorite grandpa in the last few years. since i started college in 2000, i saw him about 4 times. the last time was at my college graduation. he was having a good day that day. he remembered my name pretty much all day. thank god grandma was there to keep him in line. but that's the reason i haven't been to see them much. it's depressing to love someone so much who can't even remember your name. i feel so bad for grandma. but she's put up with it for a LONG time. and recently, she finally decided it was time to put him in an old people home. not a nursing home, but a specialty home for alzheimer's patients. this is why we're going down there. because who knows if i'll get another chance to see him before he leaves us.

ok enough depressing stuff.. we're also going to DISNEYworld. yay! i haven't been since i was 4. i'm excited. just like a kid. of course, what i really want to see, pirates of the caribbean, is being closed down the day we're going. they're going to add in jack sparrow and the cast of the movie before the premiere of POTC 2. it'd be SO cool to see the ride, but i guess it wasn't meant to be. i bet i'll like the haunted mansion though! and space mountain! i hope elora realizes she's going to have to ride that with us.

i hope to come back with a ZILLION pictures.

what else is going on.. i'm definitely going to be in my condo by april 1st!
i'm still talking to the ex almost every night. it's SO nice to reminisce with him about the good times.
last weekend was BORING. except that i gave some guy at sagebrush (a customer) my phone number! ha! and he even called later that night. and then his phone died and he never called back. oh well.

and so it is.

nightmare

i had a terrible horrible nightmare last night. one of those that when you wake up you're actually depressed, even though you know it was just a dream. why on earth would i be forced to suffer like this? i hate nightmares. i dreamed that i was asleep.. and i woke up and went into the living room to look at my car through the window, like i do every morning. only, this time something was different, something was wrong. i went outside for a closer look, and then it hit me. someone had stripped my car. they had taken everything from inside my car, and then taken the engine. nothing was left but the steel frames. all i could think was.. why? who? no... and it went on from there.. with the cops and all..

man.. i could have cried. i did in the dream. when i really did wake up this morning, the first thing i did, even before i peed, was went into the living room to make sure.. yes. my car was still there, and it was normal.. thank goodness.

maybe i've been working too much lately.. i'm darn tired from sagebrush. stupid valentines day means we were extra busy. too bad my tips didn't reflect that.
only 2135 dollars to go til i can quit that hell hole.

oh and if you're wondering how my v-day went, the only valentine i got was from my dad. but if you can't trust your daddy to be your valentine, who can you trust?

playing spades IS real life

well i have to say, this past weekend, although comparitively uneventful, was my favorite weekend of the year so far. well, sunday was the best part. friday night i sulked because i thought a LOT about the dustin situation and realized that i'm just fooling myself thinking he cares about me in any way. that put a real damper on my mood friday night. saturday night was dead at the brush because everyone in hickory freaked out at the thought of snow and/or sleet. i would have rather stabbed myself in the eyeball with a fork than gone anywhere near a grocery store friday or saturday. why do people feel the need to go buy bread, milk, toilet paper and kitty litter when they think it's gonna snow? amateurs.

then i got my drink on at the phaups later that night. it was good to just sit around drinking for no reason. no poker. just t.v. and friends. good times. sunday i did ABSOLUTELY nothing until 5.30 pm. i sat around in my p.j.'s most of the day watching t.v. with carmen. then i took a shower and at 5.30 adam got here! we drove to the tap room, and sat around and talked for a while, then we went back to the phaups. carmen and brian beat the crap out of me and adam at spades. but you know, it's ok. i wasn't even paying that much attention to the game. is it weird that i have a crush on my ex? but we get along SO well now, now that we've grown up some. we never fought before, so it's not that different i guess, but it IS different. we're different. i'm no longer a demanding sensitive clingy 18 year old, and he's no longer a redneck (hard core) republican 19 year old.

hmm... i wonder....
oh, and before anyone starts making any assumptions, NO i did not kiss him yesterday. there were 3 very long hugs when i walked him to his car, but that was the extent of it. I kissed him first 5.5 years ago. it's his turn.

what does the cow say? moooo.

monday was nice. my mom came up with my niece madelyn and met me and andrea at the condo for a looksy. i made the right choice by inviting andrea. since she has recently bought a house, she knows what to look at. while me and my mom were looking at the wallpaper and the carpet, she was looking at the window frames, door frames, bathroom fixtures, etc. smart girl that one. anywho they both really liked it. that's so great. so i'm really going to do this!! i'm going to buy a condo! my next step is to get prequalified for a loan. that ought to be easy.. NOT! good thing i have good credit. but the idea of going through all that paperwork.. boo. oh well what has to be done has to be done.

then me and my mom and madelyn went to ham's for some grub:

sometimes it's hard to get over how cute she is.

yesterday i went to the foot doctor. i've been expecting to have toe surgery someday, but i kept putting it off. and now.. i'm having toe surgery on st. patrick's day. one of my favorite holidays and i'll be spending it under the knife.
hey, at least he'll be giving me valium. when it happens i have to take 3 weeks off sagebrush. maybe more. i'll be on my ass for a long time and i'll probably put on like thirty pounds or something. but on the bright side, this may be happening at the same time i'll be moving, so maybe i won't have to help move! hahah!

getting nervous about sunday, when the ex is coming up to play spades!!
i have no expectations...

no more football :(

well i had another pretty darn good weekend. friday sucked as always at the brush, and then i lost madly at poker, but i had wine so i had fun anyways. don't worry though, i was okay driving home. dustin followed me home friday night to make sure i made a safe return. he's nice like that. we've been getting along really well. :)

saturday i went to lunch with the roomie to el paso! i love el paso. and then we went to barnes and noble where i got a magazine which had a five page article about the avett brothers! the best part is that the magazine included a sampler cd with one of the brand new avett brothers' songs on it! and it is a KICK ass song. their new cd comes out tomorrow. i will be buying it for sure.

and of course work saturday night was BUSY AS HELL. but my brother was in town when i got off, so he and me and the phaups and others went to O Charlie's for some drinks.

and we went skiing yesterday!! if my brother ever emails me the pictures, i will put them on my flickr. i took a couple later:

but none while skiing. anywho it was awesome. cold, wet, tiresome, and awesome. i love skiing. too bad i suck at it. i go sooo slow. and i stay on the midlevel courses, but damn i have fun at it. i only fell twice. alan (my brother) fell a lot more than me. ha. it's always nice to be better at something than my brother. of course then he had to upstage me by going on the next higher level course. but i'm not an idiot and i don't want a broken limb. i'm a better mapmaker than him, so at least i've got that.

i was extremely tired by the time we got back yesterday afternoon. and i was planning on skipping ace's super bowl party. but then we (the phaups, brian, and i) felt bad about it so we decided to go. i would have liked to have driven seperately because i knew i would want to stay longer than them, but i ended up driving everyone. which would have been fine, but brian got pissed off at this jerk that was there, so they forced me to leave early. *sigh* i was having a good time flirting with dustin:


oh well. they're my friends. it's ok though because i was so bloody tired i needed to go to bed early... which i didn't really because then when i got home i talked to my ex online til midnight.. i'm so bad. but i have so much fun talking to him now. the plan is that next sunday (in 6 days!) he is coming up to play spades with us! woohoo! this is especially funny because when we were dating we had a nickname for when we wanted to fool around, we called it playing spades. good times.

we'll see what tomorrow brings. :)

Lester Moore

Lester Moore
Originally uploaded by DistortedSmile.

this picture has been on my favorites list for a while.. it still amuses me!
here are more: my faves!

oh geez, i almost forgot about that time when...

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often or don't really know each other) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you!

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i think i'm cheering for the steelers

i love ben roethlisberger.