Meatwad Hates Me.

So, ever since The Ex moved out, Meatwad has made it his personal goal to prevent me from enjoying my newly-single life.

See, on workday mornings, I have a little ritual I like to call "snooze hour". During snooze hour, I spend an hour hitting the snooze button every 9 minutes on my alarm, and getting another blissful 8.5 minutes of sleep in between. This is how I have always woken up. This is the only way to get me up early. Without this method, I'd be late for work every day.

Well, for the past two weeks, Meatwad has decided to mess with my snooze hour. Instead of waiting until I finally arouse and open my bedroom door before he starts bombarding me with good-morning-now-feed-me meows, he has decided he can't wait anymore. As soon as he hears my alarm go off the first time, he stands right outside my door and sticks his fat kitty snout right in the floor-door crack and meows very very very loudly, in an attempt to get me to feed him immediately.

This isn't entirely new. He used to do it a long time ago, too. You know, before The Ex moved in. Then he stopped. No real reason except I guess he figured I was feeding The Ex in there or something. Crazy ass cat.

I have tried a lot of different methods to prevent him from driving me insane. My first unsuccessful method was the watergun. As soon as I would hear him start, I'd jump up and grab the watergun, open the bedroom door, and shoot him a few times until he ran down the stairs. Then I would go back to sleep for 7.5 minutes (instead of 8.5) until my alarm went off again. Unfortunately, this method only serves to piss him off and he gets louder.

The next method I have tried is to lock him up in another room. This method is semi-successful except that it wakes me up more. The first time I did it, I put him in the downstairs bathroom, which means I had to grab him, hike down the stairs, and then back up. And even with a floor of separation, I could still hear him meowing. The next time I did it, I tried the extra bedroom, but I could still hear him.

Why can't cats learn? I don't understand. I don't feed him any earlier when he does this. In fact, I take my sweet time about it now, in an attempt to piss him off in return. To no avail.

*sigh* I'm not sure what to do now. I honestly can't survive like this. I think the only thing left to try is to start feeding them at night. I have a feeling he will still want to be fed in the morning and still meow under my door, but maybe eventually he'll forget.

That, or I could get someone to sleep over every night. But then, that's not going to happen anytime soon. I wonder if removing his voice box would help? :D

I know 2 very bad kitties who will be celebrating a birthday soon.

So on Sunday I decided it would be a perfect day to take Meatwad and Beefcake to PetSmart to get their nails clipped. It was a gorgeous day, and the cats seemed to be in good moods. I packed them up in their carriers and we headed on out.

When we got in the pet salon area, two of the women there immediately recognized me, and I assume it was because of Meatwad. Here's why:

Meatwad basically attacked the poor woman who got stuck clipping his nails. It was like an all out brawl before she put the cone on. It looked a lot like this:


And also a bit like this:


Except, imagine the lion is Meatwad and the tiger is the PetSmart lady.

I went out to pay while she was finishing him up, and there were people outside the salon staring saying "Look at that crazy cat!". The woman who rang me up asked, "is that your cat everyone is talking about?". YEA. That's my Meatwad.

So then she trims Beefcake's nails and I can see he behaves... but when she brings him back over to me in his carrier, she says, "I just want you to know, he's peed all over the inside of the carrier and himself."

Great. One mean cat and one pee-covered cat. That poor lady. I tipped her for being so calm about it.

Then I sadly took my two bad kitties home and gave poor Beefcake a bath. I would have taken a picture but it takes both hands to handle that.

I found a new Greatest.Website.Ever.

You know how I love me some Star Wars.
You know how I love me some i can has cheeseburger cats.
How about somebody make a mashup of the two?

OKAY!! CLICK HERE FOR BEST WEBSITE EVER!!!


















I almost died from laughing...
Also, I want one of these for my cats:


















Millenium Falcon Catbed Website Here.


collection post to come later..

After Vacuuming...

My Cats HATE it when I vacuum. They always run either upstairs or downstairs depending on where I am. Yesterday I vacuumed upstairs so they ran downstairs. Then, I vacuumed down the stairs and from the front to the back on the bottom floor. They had nowhere left to hide, I thought. When I was finished, I wondered.. where are the boys hiding? Then, I went into the kitchen to find some grub. Found this:

I can haz..

Jared's birthday was great! We went to El Paso and he loved his presents! I got him a Carnegie Deli Cheesecake, Madden 2008 (Playstation game), 2 boxes of balls (golf balls teehee!), a movie (Signs), and a shirt from Hollister. Also, I made him a strawberry cake with cream cheese icing on top. I spoil him.

SO.

Things I love:
-Musicals
-Tim Burton movies
-Johnny Depp

It's like someone knew this about me, and they decided to make Sweeney Todd, a musical by Tim Burton starring Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, and John Turturo. They just released the trailer for it. I'm excited!


I also love my NFL football team. They are amazingly kicking butt this season! They are in the top 10 according to SPorts Illustrated.com!

I also love icanhascheezburger.com where you can make funny captioned pictures of your pretty kitties. Here a few I made:

I'm Tired of Seeing Britney on my Blog.

After going through my blogroll this morning I had had enough of seeing Britney, so I made this for your viewing pleasure, using BIGHUGELABS!

Stuff on MY cat!

After a year and a half of trying to get Meatwad onto my favorite website, I looked on Sunday and he is finally a member of the elite Stuff on My Cat cats!

Another Classic, From Stuffonmycat.

My only wish is to one day see Meatwad and/or Beefcake on my favorite website.

skankness

Well I had a pretty boring weekend unless you count going to a skanktacular strip club with Jared and a few others on Friday night, and then going to dinner with the ex on Sunday night. Saturday I did not leave the house except to take Beefcake to get his rabies shot. He is 4 pounds now but the vet thinks he is too skinny. I am doubling his food now, and I keep Meatwad out while he is eating.

I have been feeding Cheddar, Carmen's cat, this week while she is on her honeymoon in the Caribbean. I am also feeding her plants, and trying desperately not to kill them. Why am I so terrible with plants? The tomato plant is browning even though I am watering it everyday. And their pet plant, the carnivorous one, is looking sad too. They'll be home tomorrow and I'm hoping it holds on long enough for Jon to save it.

Last night I got jealous over something stupid. Why do I continue to get jealous when I know Jared is totally committed to me? I trust him, but I don't trust other girls. I'm just weird I guess. But everything is fine. It's weird how I don't get jealous at the strip club but I get jealous with girls I know. hmm.