Meatwad

So my cat Meatwad has been in and out of the vet three times since July with the same problem: a blocked up urethra. Basically, he has kidney sand, the kitty equivalent to kidney stones. This means he couldn't pee. That is very bad. It stressed me out a lot and I worried constantly whether or not he would recover properly.

He's been home now for two weeks since his last visit. And he is peeing. But I guess part of his "healing process" is to pee where ever the hell he wants, because he has decided to make my couch his toilet. GRRRRR!!

It has been a goal in my life not to turn out like my mother, in the pet department anyways. She has never NOT had four to five cats wondering in and out of her life. And there's only ONE litter box that she has for them all to use. So they're pretty bad about peeing where ever the hell they want and making her house smell funky. But she tries and at least she spays and neuters any cat that chooses her for an owner.

The point is, though, that I didn't want a stinky house. My brother and his family went to the APP game with me this past Saturday and on their way back down the mountain stopped off at my house on Saturday. And of course, Meatwad had just peed on the couch. A lOT. This was very upsetting to me because of course, my brother made fun of me and called me "mom".

After they left I spent several hours cleaning my house and cursing and yelling at Meatwad. I mean, I love that cat more than anything but come on!! Two litter boxes and God forbid a sink, and you choose the couch? sheesh.



On the bright side, he's peeing. I just hope he gets over this phase soon. I HATE having a stinky house.

Guess who finally learned to stop being an ass?

Has stopped meowing (for the most part) and waking me up in the morning since I started feeding them at night:



















<3 my Meatwad.

Meatwad Hates Me.

So, ever since The Ex moved out, Meatwad has made it his personal goal to prevent me from enjoying my newly-single life.

See, on workday mornings, I have a little ritual I like to call "snooze hour". During snooze hour, I spend an hour hitting the snooze button every 9 minutes on my alarm, and getting another blissful 8.5 minutes of sleep in between. This is how I have always woken up. This is the only way to get me up early. Without this method, I'd be late for work every day.

Well, for the past two weeks, Meatwad has decided to mess with my snooze hour. Instead of waiting until I finally arouse and open my bedroom door before he starts bombarding me with good-morning-now-feed-me meows, he has decided he can't wait anymore. As soon as he hears my alarm go off the first time, he stands right outside my door and sticks his fat kitty snout right in the floor-door crack and meows very very very loudly, in an attempt to get me to feed him immediately.

This isn't entirely new. He used to do it a long time ago, too. You know, before The Ex moved in. Then he stopped. No real reason except I guess he figured I was feeding The Ex in there or something. Crazy ass cat.

I have tried a lot of different methods to prevent him from driving me insane. My first unsuccessful method was the watergun. As soon as I would hear him start, I'd jump up and grab the watergun, open the bedroom door, and shoot him a few times until he ran down the stairs. Then I would go back to sleep for 7.5 minutes (instead of 8.5) until my alarm went off again. Unfortunately, this method only serves to piss him off and he gets louder.

The next method I have tried is to lock him up in another room. This method is semi-successful except that it wakes me up more. The first time I did it, I put him in the downstairs bathroom, which means I had to grab him, hike down the stairs, and then back up. And even with a floor of separation, I could still hear him meowing. The next time I did it, I tried the extra bedroom, but I could still hear him.

Why can't cats learn? I don't understand. I don't feed him any earlier when he does this. In fact, I take my sweet time about it now, in an attempt to piss him off in return. To no avail.

*sigh* I'm not sure what to do now. I honestly can't survive like this. I think the only thing left to try is to start feeding them at night. I have a feeling he will still want to be fed in the morning and still meow under my door, but maybe eventually he'll forget.

That, or I could get someone to sleep over every night. But then, that's not going to happen anytime soon. I wonder if removing his voice box would help? :D

I know 2 very bad kitties who will be celebrating a birthday soon.

So on Sunday I decided it would be a perfect day to take Meatwad and Beefcake to PetSmart to get their nails clipped. It was a gorgeous day, and the cats seemed to be in good moods. I packed them up in their carriers and we headed on out.

When we got in the pet salon area, two of the women there immediately recognized me, and I assume it was because of Meatwad. Here's why:

Meatwad basically attacked the poor woman who got stuck clipping his nails. It was like an all out brawl before she put the cone on. It looked a lot like this:


And also a bit like this:


Except, imagine the lion is Meatwad and the tiger is the PetSmart lady.

I went out to pay while she was finishing him up, and there were people outside the salon staring saying "Look at that crazy cat!". The woman who rang me up asked, "is that your cat everyone is talking about?". YEA. That's my Meatwad.

So then she trims Beefcake's nails and I can see he behaves... but when she brings him back over to me in his carrier, she says, "I just want you to know, he's peed all over the inside of the carrier and himself."

Great. One mean cat and one pee-covered cat. That poor lady. I tipped her for being so calm about it.

Then I sadly took my two bad kitties home and gave poor Beefcake a bath. I would have taken a picture but it takes both hands to handle that.

Meatwad's Twin

As I was reading some Popsugar the other day, I happened to notice that one of the ads featured a very handsome kitty cat. This cat could be Meatwad's twin!




Compare to my Meatwad:


He even has the same eyegoop stuff.

Maybe it's one of Meatwad's siblings from the Catawba animal shelter.

Yay! Beefcake made Stuff on My Cat!

SEE HIM HERE!!!!!!!!!!

Non-Collection Blog

I have a collection to write about today, and I brought my camera with me to work so I could download the pictures off of it. Unfortunately, I did not bring the cord used to download the pictures. So.. my collection post will have to be made later tonight. But it will come!

In the meantime.. I went to visit my ma yesterday in Kannapolis (K-town!) so I could get a picture of an old collection. It was a good time. I watched the Buccaneers game on my ma's NFL Sunday Ticket. They won! woo! And Appalachian won on Saturday. AND I beat Jared in Fantasy Football. So I had a good weekend. Um, back to my Mom's house.. I walked in and saw this:














My brother was in a parking lot the other day and heard a kitten mewing in a bush. He walked over to find this little girl and her 2 deceased siblings. So he brought her to my Ma's house. She has been bottle feeding her. I collect snowglobes and my mother collects cats. She swears she's going to find a home for it once it's old enough.. Anybody want an adorable little kitten? My mother already has 5 cats. She needs no more.




And another thing. On the way home last night all of normal radio stations were playing crap. I switched to FM2 and switched through when I landed on 104.7. Usually they play 80s 90s and today type stuff but last night? They were playing CHRISTMAS music. Is it really that time already? OMG.

After Vacuuming...

My Cats HATE it when I vacuum. They always run either upstairs or downstairs depending on where I am. Yesterday I vacuumed upstairs so they ran downstairs. Then, I vacuumed down the stairs and from the front to the back on the bottom floor. They had nowhere left to hide, I thought. When I was finished, I wondered.. where are the boys hiding? Then, I went into the kitchen to find some grub. Found this:

so...

I can haz..

Jared's birthday was great! We went to El Paso and he loved his presents! I got him a Carnegie Deli Cheesecake, Madden 2008 (Playstation game), 2 boxes of balls (golf balls teehee!), a movie (Signs), and a shirt from Hollister. Also, I made him a strawberry cake with cream cheese icing on top. I spoil him.

SO.

Things I love:
-Musicals
-Tim Burton movies
-Johnny Depp

It's like someone knew this about me, and they decided to make Sweeney Todd, a musical by Tim Burton starring Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, and John Turturo. They just released the trailer for it. I'm excited!


I also love my NFL football team. They are amazingly kicking butt this season! They are in the top 10 according to SPorts Illustrated.com!

I also love icanhascheezburger.com where you can make funny captioned pictures of your pretty kitties. Here a few I made:

I'm Tired of Seeing Britney on my Blog.

After going through my blogroll this morning I had had enough of seeing Britney, so I made this for your viewing pleasure, using BIGHUGELABS!

Stuff on MY cat!

After a year and a half of trying to get Meatwad onto my favorite website, I looked on Sunday and he is finally a member of the elite Stuff on My Cat cats!

beefcake is a bad boy.

This morning as I was putting in my contacts, Beefcake jumped up on the bathroom counter. I already had Rightie in and was picking Leftie up out of the solution. That is when Beefcake decided to get in my face and say "WHERE IS MY FOOD HO!?" I shooed him away and as he turned, his tail caught Leftie and sent it flying off into oblivion.

After searching and scouring (with one good eye) for a good 10 minutes (I was already late) I gave up and got a new Leftie out of the box. Unfortunately, this is my last Leftie.

My contacts are Torric for Astigmatism and cost $250.00 for a year's supply. That's 4 each of Leftie and Rightie. I got these in March. That means that this Leftie is going to have to last for 7 months. Yikes. I guess that's what happens when you tear one, then you decide you'll throw away a pair because they're "kind of blurry", and then you have a bad kitty that gets in your face.

I have 3 Righties left including the one I'm using currently. Why is it always the Leftie?

No bueno.

Another Classic, From Stuffonmycat.

My only wish is to one day see Meatwad and/or Beefcake on my favorite website.

A few random notes.

RUTLESS is back.

Which means it is highly likely that I may have an accident which causes me to die anytime in the next two to three months. We shall see. Hopefully I won't have to eat anymore lottery tickets. Or go all day without using my cell phone. Or cover my body with permanent marker.



Although, if I get to do another cool one like this again, I won't mind. Keep an eye out.



























My Cinco de Mayo/Birthday party didn't happen. My guest of honor, Brad, couldn't make it to Hickory due to a family emergency. And since pretty much everybody else was already busy, except Sam, I just canceled it. I'm okay with that though. I did go to El Paso with Katie and Daniel, and Stephen Foxy. Then I went home to do nothing. There's something to be said for sitting at home alone on a Saturday night reading Harry Potter with a slight margarita buzz on. And then Jared came home so my day was complete.

The best part of my weekend was during the day on Saturday when I cleaned my room from top to bottom and filled up six trash bags with clothes. Two went to the dumpster and four go to Goodwill. I feel so much better having unloaded some of the clothes I've been clinging to for years. It feels amazing to be able to say "It's time". Time to let go of stupid trashy coats I don't need anymore. Time to let go of t-shirts I've had since high school. Time to let go of that one t-shirt that may or may not have belonged to the ex. Zen. I now have a whole free closet for Jared's clothes.

Yay!

And one more thing.. five days til I get to bring home Beefcake!