Wednesday, February 14, 2007

happy valentine's day yall!

To commemorate the day, how about a little love story, from an old boyfriend? Well, maybe I should call it more of a hate story. I had just broken his heart again, so he wrote this lovely 2 paragraph story about me. When we got back together, he showed it to me. Joe F wasn't exactly the smartest guy on the planet, but he sure was fun. Well, funny. Well, fun to make fun of.

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In case you don't feel like reading it, or it's hard to read because it's small, here is the link to the big size, but here are a few exerpts that I particularly love:

"I sat here waiting for her to grace me with her, really should not say radiant, presence. Woe is me, a sad thing to be a slave to, pronounced to, and somehow addicted to."

"on the other hand, it [me] is only a somber ruse, for someone's amusement, probably Satan"

"if you remove the be... and the ve... from the word believe and what do you have? Lie. On the other hand if you remove the s and the ex from "sex" what do you have? Nothing."

And my favorite:
"She moves in these mysterious ways, usually completely just as God made her initially, the sight would intrigue even the most ancient pharoah into a state of arousal from beyond an antique grave."

Wow. Deep.


phaupster said...

that guy is so dumb.

Sam said...

That is really hilarious... but at the same time I feel bad for the guy because I understand where he's coming from. It sounds like he couldn't really express himself because of his stupidity, but at least he tried, I guess. I usually don't even do that, hahaha.