Tuesday, November 29, 2005

with their floppy little heads and their beady little eyes..

ha! take that mr. canada,
mr. "america needs some serious reorganization"
mr. "i could be making so much more money back in canada"
mr. "ooh my name's steve and i'm better than you"
mr. email me saying "i'm home now, come on over and we can cuddle" then email me saying "please ignore the last email i sent you, we'll go skiing soon"

what an ass. i know this was over a month ago, but i still feel icky when i think about canada now.

ok, ok, i still think it's a beautiful country and would love to go back and visit. but not with carmen's canadian coworker.. heheheh i love alliteration.

Monday, November 28, 2005

oh my god

oh my god! oh my god! oh my god! oh my god!

allison's thanksgiving break.. exposed!

i had a WONDERFULLY awesome break from the rigorously hard work of making maps all day.

-Wednesday night: work at the brush, drive home.. talk to Dr. Boone for approximately 1 hour, making drive really easy..
have nice conversation with brother.

-Thursday day: dinner goes well, and get this: NO DRAMA! for once a comparitively normal thanksgiving.. food: good. family: well behaved. kiddies: adorable.

-Thursday night: back to work. i swear to god sagebrush was the only restaurant open in hickory and therefore every retard that decided to go out to eat on THANKSGIVING had to come into sagebrush. it was SO FING busy. and here's the best part, there were only four servers. that's right FOUR. and it was as busy as a friday night when we have 11 servers. but i got through it.. and ended up making like 60 bucks. i didn't get out of there til 11:30 when we closed at 10 pm. but then i went to C's and we had fun with the gang, and i talked to Dr. Boone on the phone until approximately 4 a.m. when my phone died.

-Friday: get up, do NOTHING, then go help put Gulf Relief Variety Show fliers on people's cars at the crazy way too freaking busy, how the hell did anybody get anywhere parking lot at target/kohl's/best buy.

-Friday night at the brush: DEAD. since everyone came in there on thanksgiving, there was no one left to come back the next night. wtf. but it was all gravy since i was still tired from the night before. plus, i was closing with C, so at least i didn't have to be bored alone. seriously, i made like 15 bucks. on a friday. i had FIVE tables.
then over to B. W. Wings, for a few drinks. talked to dr. boone again... then home..

-Saturday was cool. got up, went to wally world. can i just say that it was the craziest damn place eveR? i was going to go friday afternoon, but remembered that i would be stepping into HELL the day after thanksgiving..
then i got all pretty for the show.
which was outstanding.. carmen and sattercrunk did an amazing job putting together a very fun night.. and they raised money for a good cause. i'm so proud to call them 2 of my best friends... and the best part was that i got to watch it all from the lighting booth with carmen. and i got to do some of the lighting. AND i got to wear a cool headset.. "red five, standing by" was all i could think of... i am such a geek.

then a bunch of people came over to my abode for a little get together. we drank, we played poker, everything was awesome. except for alex, satterfield's future brother in law. he decided to be an ass and turn into a little girl when he folded on a hand that ended up being a great one for him. too bad.. he actually THREW his chips in and said "i don't want to play anymore". what a little bitch.. i can't believe i ever contemplated dating him, and that i kissed him.. that was a LONG time ago though. oh and he's a philly eagles fan. ew.

then i talked yet again to dr. boone. that's when he told me he wouldn't be at my brother's house for football. i was distraught til he told me that i was going to be going over to HIS apartment to watch movies after the game.. this i could deal with.

-Sunday: drove to my brother's to watch football game. boring. boring. the panther's game was so boring. and the bucs lost too. *sigh*
but then.... then.... (sam, i'm sorry, you may not want to read anymore)
then i went to dr. boone's apartment. i was a little nervous considering we had only met the once, at alan's house a few weeks ago, but i've been talking to him everyday since then. i could tell he was a little nervous too. like, he wouldn't look at me.. we eventually decided to put in the amityville horror. ok movie.. could have ended more dramatically though.
during this movie, we sat the official nervous length apart, approximately 8 inches. i kept to myself, mostly, but i did catch him looking at me a few times. he talked some, and was funny. good funny.

then we put in the goonies movie. i love this movie by the way.. the pirate ship gets me. it gets me. and so does dr. boone. this time i decided to be cuddly... ish.. he got up a couple of times to adjust the volume.. each time he turned his back i would scoot a liiiiiittle bit more towards his seat (totally plotted). so by the end of the movie he had his arm around me and i was nestled on his chest.. sigh..

then it was about 8.. i didn't want to leave yet, so i asked if there was a short movie we could watch.. he said, "well, friday the 13th part four is short, but i only have it on video."
-"so?" i replied.
-"well, the only VCR is in my bedroom, so you'd have to sit on my bed, but i'll sit on the floor". puh-lease like i couldn't see through that. but lucky for him, i was game.
-"i'm not going to make you sit on the floor."

well, after about five minutes laying on my tummy next to him on the bed, i decided it was time to be aggressive. i pulled my patented allison move, waiting til he rolled onto his side to talk to me. then, i moved in for the kill-er... kiss.

wow. that's all i'm going to say. wow. this boy has no idea what is about to hit him. i hope he realizes that soon, i will be wrapped around his little finger and likewise. i kept myself innocent though, confineing the situation to only kissing. because i'm a good girl (heheheheheheehehheheheheheheehe). really though i was good.

ok.. enough of that now.. i'll stop going on about dr. boone... except to say this: i feel so good right now, like i've been slapped in the face with a truck, and at the same time drunk. that's good.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

the good of mankind

Current mood: cheerful

last night i had the most horrific headache ever.. well not ever, there was that time a few weeks ago when i woke up in the middle of the night and to force myself to throw up so i could go back to sleep.

but anyways, i took like 500 pictures of the dress rehearsal for the Gulf Relief Variety Show that the Phaups are putting on this weekend. staring at a tiny screen for 2.5 hours gave me the headache i believe.. i don't know but i wanted to die by the time i got home, even after taking the goody's powder.

anywho if you're bored this weekend and you would like to do something for the good of mankind, go to this show. it only costs like 12 bucks and it will be really really really awesome. i got to see most of the acts last night and believe me when i say this, it is going to be an OUTSTANDING show. highly entertaining. especially the singing.

plus, i'll be there, so you know it has to be cool. of course, i'm not really doing all that much.. i'm not performing, and i'm not even taking pictures.. i'm helping C with the lighting a little (even though i've no bloody clue how to handle lighting). but it's all gravy cause i'll be there.

tonight: hang around house waiting for internet guys to show up so's i can have some internet at home! yay! and maybe i'll go see harry potter or something.. i've been dying to see it, but haven't had a chance.

well anyways i suppose maybe you want to see something visually stimulating other than my beautifully typed words, so here ya go:

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helena will be playing a beautiful violin solo at the show.

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Robby and Eli will be singing a tear jerking song.

and then after the party is the after party, where i will hopefully be getting this drunk again:

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allison and B, circa 2004 halloween party, photo courtesy of Dr. Muffin.

man, my hair was loooong.

p.s. this is the exact same blog as on MYSPACE. so get over it.

Monday, November 21, 2005

this week.

this week = looks to be good..
i'm so excited.. only 3 days in the office!

so my brother's ex girlfriend / babymomma is dating... my EX boyfriend from 1998. i dated him when i was 15. isn't that funny? i thought it was hilarious. here's a picture:
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yep, that's him in all his skeezoid glory.. what's that?? fuzzstache? hahaa
this is the guy who owned a 5 foot python. one day when i was at his house, it bit him.. hahahhahaha.. that was one of the funniest moments of my life, and i had to keep it in. dork.

anywho i just wanted to blog to be cool. but i'm too lazy to write anymore.. here's a link to make your day:
this is so gross:

North Carolina's Finest.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

The rebuttal:

Katie's friend Michelle sent me this link to the guy's version of the list in the previous post. it's pretty enlightening. and i'm sure it's 100% accurate too. guys are so shallow. by the way michelle, feel free to comment if you want!
the male version.

i concur.

i agree with about 99% of this article.
50 Things Men should know about Women.

carmen says i need to blog.

carmen says i need to blog more often, but sometimes i just don't know what to say. i've been reading other people's blogs a lot, and i found a survey that seemed pretty cool.. so what the hell i'll do that.. in a minute.
tonight me and carmen are going to Value Village! the best thrift store in the piedmont. i hope to find some goodies! and we'll be going to see my brother. so that'll be good.

i've decided after hearing some things from sampie, that i won't be speaking to cookboy adrian anymore.. i decide this a week ago, but haven't written about it yet. it just ticks me off that he would actually come over to my house (ok carmen's apt. where i was dogsitting) and drink all of my friend's liquor and then try so disgustingly desperately hard to screw monica that he was actually giving sampie "hand signals" to try to get him to "keep me busy" while he tried to scrogg monica.
what a sketchzo.
what a fucking asshole.
i haven't spoken to him in a week and i'm proud of myself. it's difficult because lately he has been working a lot more hours and now for some reason he has been working EVERYDAY the same as me. ass.
ah well.
i got a NIFTY star wars watch from brian the dj/cook. i'm so happy, it's awesome.

ok here's the damn survey:
1. What color are your kitchen plates?
my roommate's plates are a lovely plain white color. i have clear glass plates in storage.

2. What book(s) are you reading now?
i finished my awesome pirate book and now i need to find another.. i have to go to the library soon..

3. What or who is on your mouse pad?
i have a really dinge gateway mousepad... and a dell computer. but at home i have a nifty NASA hologram space mousepad.. cause science is cool.

4. What's your favorite board game?
i like trivial pursuit even though i SUCK at it. and monopoly.. i'm more of a card game type of girl, like SPADES or texas hold em.

5. Favorite magazine?
the only one i get is National Geographic. i like to read the trashy celebrity gossip ones, but i only glance at the covers while i'm in line at the grocery store. i also love reading people.

7. Least favorite smell?
ranch dressing makes me want to throw up.

8. What's the first thing you think of in the morning?
why? why? why? why is it so early? damn me for getting a real job!! damn me!

9. Favorite color?
i love all bright colors.. easter egg green is nice..

10. Least favorite color?
brown.. but is that really a color that anyone likes?

11. How many rings before you answer the phone?
my phone doesn't ring.. it sings.. most of the time it sings golddigger.. sometimes it sings sublime, sometimes star wars, and sometimes MC chris. and it just sings a 30 second sample.. so.... that doesn't really answer the question.. i just let it go til i feel like answering it.

12. Future children's names?
luke and belle. that's the end of discussion about that.

13. What is your sign and birthday?
Taurus, April 30th

14. Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
sure, they're yummy :)

15. If you could have any job what would it be?
movie star! i would love to live the hollywood life.. i could handle it.
sometimes i wish i could be a pirate too.. but not a pirate like they have now... i'm talking about an early 18th century pirate like blackbeard.
i wouldn't mind just being a regular person who lives in a boat all year round too.

16. If you could have any color hair what would it be?
red.. like i already have.. i love my hair color and haven't wanted to change it since high school. sometimes it's annoying to have all the dirty boys and old people be like "i love redheads" but ya get over it.

17. Is the glass half full or half empty?
depends. if i pour it to the halfway point, then it's half full. if it was full but i drank half of it (or if it's beer, i spilled half of it) then it's half empty

18. Favorite movie?
these are too obvious.. pirates of the caribbean of course, star wars, alive, blah blah blah...

19. Do you type with the right fingers on the keys?
of course, i'm not a retard. hahah.. that's mean. but i took the time to take a class in high school on typing with the "home keys".. so should everyone else.

20. What's under your bed?
my bed has drawers under it. one has my receipts and tobaggans (boone alumna)... the middle one has my clarinet and music.. even though i don't play anymore.. i'm so weird.. and the one at the head of the bed, well, wouldn't you like to know. let's just say i like to be prepared.. just in case. ;)

21. What is your favorite number?
520. it stands for E.T. E is the fifth letter of the alphabet and T is the 20th letter of the alphabet. why? because in 8th grade my best freind michelle and i used code to talk about our crushes. Eric Tucker was my crush. after him i never bothered with the code thing anymore.. but i continued to use 520 cause it's a good number .. it just works for me.

22. What is your single biggest fear?
not being a mother..not getting married.... being eaten by a shark (and/or dinosaur) oh you said single biggest fear? why does it have to be just one?

23. Person(s) most likely to respond?
katie or carmen.

24. Who is least likely to respond?
sam, because he reads my blogs, but never comments. :) (don't think that means now you have to comment on all my blogs though, i know you read them and you talk to me about them anyways)

25. Favorite CD?
Beck's Odelay and Bloodhound Gang's One Fierce Beer Coaster got me through High School, Sublime's 40 oz. to freedom got me through college.
but now, i don't know it's a toss up between the killer's hot fuss and the phantom of the opera soundtrack..

26. Favorite TV show?
E.R. and Friends, and now Grey's Anatomy, and jeopardy, and i love scrubs but never get to watch it.

27. Ketchup or mustard?
Ketchup. mustard is only good in moderation.

28. Hamburgers or Hot dogs?
hm... i love hamburgers.. but sometimes a hot dog with mayo, slaw and ketchup and a liiiiiittle bit of mustard can really hit the spot.. but only if it's beef, and sliced longways and grilled on a flattop, like we used to do at the BBC.

29. Favorite soft drink?
uh, coke zero.

30. The best place you have ever been?
santa barbara was pretty neat, ireland was lovely, and the bahamas were happenin. but i could also say the back of a ford F150 on a starry night in june of 2000.

31. The most amazing sight?
this beautiful country of ours from an airplane. nothing beats seeing three mountain ranges in six hours. the vastness and variability of terrain in our country blows me away.

32. What screen saver is on your computer right now?
at work i have no screensaver.. but at home i do the pictures slide show where it goes through ALL of my pictures. sometimes i just watch in amazement of all of my past pictures that i forgot i had. :)

33. Favorite burger?
wendy's. i know that's a boring answer, but their burgers are especially yummy.

there ya go. that should tide you over for a couple days i hope.

Monday, November 14, 2005

3 words: Touchdown Tampa Bay!

Man i love football. it can be so emotional sometimes. it can make you cringe, laugh, cheer, cry, jump, yell, scream, punch, high-five and even hug.

the past two weeks my team has officially sucked ass.

but yesterday they redeemed themselves quite well.
granted, the victory was a 1 point victory. but a victory is a victory, especially when it comes in such a sweet way.

b is a redskins fan, has been since birth. since my team was playing his team yesterday, the only appropriate action was for us both to take the day off for the specific purpose of watching the game together. he drove all the way to hickory from durham with a mad hangover but with idle determination. of course, since he is B, he was an hour late. but luckily i have other friends. brian the dj/cook was at Buffalo Wild Wings at 4, so at least i didn't have to sit and drink beer by myself.

the game started at 4:15. i couldn't get anyone to change the channel to that game til about 10 seconds before mike alstott drove in the buc's first touchdown. but i saw it. and called b to let him know :). then B finally got there and emotions started to fly. his team would score, my team would score. i would cheer, then i would sulk. he would cheer, then he would sulk.

finally in the fourth quarter with about 5 minutes left, the redskins got a touchdown to take the lead, making the score 35 - 28. of course, on the next drive the bucs did nothing. but then the skins' next drive was non-producing as well. and their punt was muy terrible. this gave the bucs awesome field advantage. with a nice long 30 yard pass comes the fateful six points. (i'm cheering and standing on the rungs of my stool)

now here's the crunch time. if they kick the extra point, the game will be tied 35-35. if they go for the two point conversion, they will probably win. but the two point conversions are VERY difficult to pull off. very.

so they decided to go for the extra point. blah. but wait, what's this? the damn skins blocked the kick. (i am about to cry)....

wait, is that? no, it is!! it's a flag... and it's on the skins!!! off sides!! i guess when mr. redskin went to block the kick, he jumped a little early!! another shot at victory! (again, i'm standing.. and screaming!!)

this time, gruden decides to go for it. the two points. the game winner....
handoff to alstott (my MAN) and he runs... jumps over.. and... IT'S GOOD!!!!! the refs hold up the unmistakeable touchdown symbol!! the 2 points are golden!

i'm screaming and yelling and hugging and jumping...
and of course then there is a booth review. (stupid judges)..
but since Mr. Mike Alstott was so OBVIOUSLY in, the call stands.

and the bucs win it, 36-35.

poor B, must have been a LONG drive home.

here's a picture of that glorious Alstott, just as he is about to win the game:
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that's why he's my man. Don't believe me? here's a picture of me from 3 years ago wearing his hat:
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i love this game.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Boo on WCNC.

ok.. there are a few t.v. shows out there that i really love. E.R. is one of the top 3. i love this show. the drama is outstanding. the acting is amazing. the stories are heartfelt. When they had the "smallpox" episodes, my heart literally ached for them.

last nights episode promised to be another wonderful example of exemplary television. 15 minutes into it, however, WCNC TV (our local NBC affiliate) decided to be giant ASSHOLES and interrupt ER with a "special alert" about a "car chase" in charlotte.

a car chase. not a high speed chase. no one was speeding. no one was hurt.

no property was damaged. nobody was shot at. nobody even ran.

it wasn't even in downtown.

it was just a car with sparks flying out of the back, being followed by cop cars.

whoop. t. doo.

i was seriously pissed off. this went on for a good 15 minutes. i was cussing and yelling at the t.v. just ask my roomie. i was so pissed i tried to call the station to bitch them out, but the line was busy.

that's ok though, that's what the internet is for.

here's what i wrote:

"i love your news shows, but interrupting ER for 15 minutes last night to show a"car chase" that was in charlotte was absolutely dispicable. i realize thatmaybe a few people out there needed to know because maybe they live close towhere the "chase" occurred, but honestly the blue flashing lights probablytipped them off. Couldn't you have just had a scrolling alert at the bottom ofthe screen? I am saddenned that there is nothing i can do to get back the timeyour special alert wasted. "

here's the website: WCNC

i feel better now.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

good gravy!

i swear.. sometimes i have the most fuckedupest dreams. if you'll remember, a few months ago i had the freaky (but cool) roesthlisbrady dream. well last night i had another strange dream.. not quite as freaky, more... weird.
carmen was pregnant.... and so was i! the carmen being pregnant part is awesome.. that would rock. she wants a baby, she's married, and she is totally ready.
me? not so much. i mean, of course i want to be a mother.. one day. but not now. i'm single, young, and broke. i would have to quit my job! and move back in with my mother.. ew....
of course, i could enlist the help of the baby daddy, but honestly, the prospect of a shotgun wedding with the last guy that i.... well... let's just say i'd end up on CNN one day for spousal homicide.

although, it would be completely awesome to have a baby at the same time as carmen..

i need a cat!

Monday, November 07, 2005

ready to go home and it's only 11:45 am

first of all : the_golden_age_of_piracy_returns.

second of all: chris simms is pissing me off. (tampa bay's quarterback).
how can my team lose to San Francisco, and then turn around and lose again to the panthers. i wouldn't really care except that everyone that i work with in both of my jobs likes to be assholes about it and come up and say some "funny" little remark like: "how bout them panthers?" or "what happened to your buccaneers?" gimme a break. i wouldn't be rubbing that shit in all their faces if my team had won. and that's the truth. i would simply smile to myself. not be an ass. but whatever.

so you know what happens when you fall asleep and won't wake up to go to IHOP with allison and monica? you get served:

hahaha ..

the funny part was the reaction at discovering the stuff all over his back.
he wakes up, goes in the bathroom. scratches his back.. "aw what the fuck?!"
hahahah it was funnier if you were there i guess. don't judge me, you would have laughed.
*sigh* i'm getting too old for this staying up til 7 am on friday nights nonsense.
then sat. i went to a party with monica (who is 19) and there were a lot of boys there. a lot of 20 year old boys.. i felt really old and decided not to drink. good choice i think..

i've decided to quit sagebrush after i save up 3000 bucks instead of 5000. it would take FOREVER to save up five. i've been working there for like 3 months and all i have now is 835. of course, that's because i spend money on friday nights drinking. stupid alcohol.

i'm just going to be a loner for a while. a hermit if you will. stay at home and watch t.v. and not worry about anything.. serving tables, playing poker, boys, booze, sex,.. . all put away. yea.

Friday, November 04, 2005

can't think of one

carmen: "i don't approve of your newest blog. :) i don't care about how cute your neices are...I want updates and details on your life, and funny links...you know how you roll!"

allison: you people are SO demanding :).

funny link.. .hmmm... let's see....

ok.. found one: 50 most embarassing ways to die. hahahahhahah
i like number 2 myself.

by the way http://gorillamask.net is the best source for funny websites..

so my coworker entered this contest on IMDB that i told him to enter because he has mad photoshop skillz. and the motherfucker won. he won a tv. a big, flat screen tv. i entered too, but i don't have mad photoshop skillz, nor do i have photoshop. therefore, i didn't win. bastard. i deserved at least a part of that t.v. for real.
no but seriously.. i think it's cool. i've never known anybody who won anything like this before. especially someone who won off of advice that I gave them.

i can't wait til Dec. 6th! i'm going to see MC Chris! in raliegh, with B, Maksim, and Foliage. haha foliage.. but anyways it's been a long time since i've been this excited over a concert. i mean, i had fun at cowboy mouth (katie) don't get me wrong. .but i only knew 2 songs by them.. The Killers show was awesome, but B didn't like them, so i was pretty much by myself in enjoying it.
it's gonna rock this shit straight up like a vandal. yea.

FEMALES: be warned. do not EVER associate or talk to this_guy. he is a creep and i am disturbed to think i actually went out to dinner with him a while back. i found out from one of my brother's friends (who used to work with this guy) that he actually brought in pictures of some girl who had "passed out"at his house. he had held her shirt up and took pictures showing her boobs. wtf? what a friggin creep.. when i had dinner with him he was all, "you should stay a little later", "i didn't know i was takin out a grandma"... and other shit like that.. it makes me have a mini throw up to think about it... but seriously just giving you ladies a heads up.
also, he SUCKS at spades.

oh well. today is friday which means tonight at the brush will SUCK for tips. but at least i'll be playing poker tonight. at carmen's house. without her. i'm dogsitting. my goal is to have the most people EVER attend without her even being there.. hahaha that would be funny..

*napnapnapnapnapnapnapnapnap* is all i can think...

Thursday, November 03, 2005

ok ... my niece is cute.

yea i'm making personalized calenders for my bros for xmas this year.. and i'm going through pics of my nieces for them.. man are they cute. especially madelyn.

just look!

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one more (my future (not anytime soon) baby/babies better turn out this cute.. )
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Wednesday, November 02, 2005

me... lazy? yep.

ok i've decided it would take too much work to blog about my whole weekend. i'll just give you a few highlights:

*i won $11.00 friday night playing poker
*i got my star necklace back!!
*i had a super yummy steak and cheese with sprouts and pumpkin beer at the shroom.
*i drove approximately 4 hours on saturday. eckgh.
*there were FIVE people at the "costume party" friday night.
*therefore, i won the award for best costume, a check for $25.00 from b, who was so drunk when he wrote it that it says "pay to the order of ALLISON SUHI"
*i drank a little meself
*found out a little about why i thought that the foliage dissed me.
*b fell down a lot :)
*had the pleasure of seeing 60% of my family on sunday, including my mom, stepdad, both brothers, and two nieces (madelyn, and elora).
*got to watch a little FOOTBALL (hell yea)
*buccaneers lost to san francisco. god darn it.
*fantasy team lost. god darn it.
*got to dress like a pirate at the brush monday night. i called myself captain blinkey, due to the eyepatch. i didn't feel it would be appropriate to greet my tables by saying: "hello, welcome to sagebrush, my name is captain red poon and i'll be taking care of you."
*drank beer on monday night at the buff wild wings. after all, halloween is my favorite holiday.
*but have decided that staying out late on weeknights is a BAD idea.
*BOUGHT STAR WARS EPISODE III yesterday. can't wait to watch it!

*am glad i have the friends i have.

*need to start on my christmas list! i'm so f*ing lazy! it's november and i haven't even STARTED on chrimas presents!