You know, it's funny how you can go along in life and have a bad week and think "this is the worst week ever." And then, you get over it and everything's going fine and all of a sudden you come back from vacation and the next day you're delivered a total bombshell that just makes you fully realize, you really are having the worst week ever right now.
That's how I've been feeling since last Tuesday. Guilty and sick to my stomach. I don't feel guilty because of anything in particular though. All of this stuff going on makes me feel sick and then I think and think and I realize that why I feel so bad is because I'm made to feel guilty for everything. I'm tired of feeling guilty all of the time.
But to not feel guilty would make me a psycopath or something equally bad. So I guess I'll have to live with it. But I bet it would make me feel better to list some things that make me feel guilty, just to get them out there.
I feel guilty:
-When I don't eat right.
-When I don't exercise at least 2 times a week.
-When I don't change out the litterbox enough.
-When I don't recycle.
-When I play on the internet when I should be working (like now).
-When I don't blog enough.
-When I don't get the chance to read all of my other blogs until a week after they're written.
-When I don't comment on people's blogs, flickrs, twitters, etc.
-When I'm late for work.
-When I don't keep up with my old friends.
-When I don't keep up with my current friends.
-When I don't have time for everyone.
-When I don't have a clean house.
-When my mom makes me feel guilty.
-For not liking my brother. At All.
-For not keeping a budget.
-For not having enough savings.
-For always being lazy.
-For being selfish sometimes.
-For not being as strong as I pretend to be.
-For not being as smart as I pretend to be.
-For STILL not knowing what I want to be when I grow up.
-For not loving my profession as much as I should.
-When I drink too much.
-When I drink too much coffee.
-When I spend too much money.
-When I don't email my family.
-When I don't call my family.
-When all I want to do is sleep.
-When I cry for no reason.
-When I cry for A reason.
-When I drive too fast.
-When I cuss at old people in my car.
-When I quit Sagebrush.
-When I don't like people based off of first impressions.
-When I don't tip enough.
-When I don't feel guilty and I should.
I think this list is long enough, but I could still add some. It feels a little better to list them.