Thursday, August 09, 2007

I'm too nice?

Sometimes I wonder if I'm too nice. I wonder if I'm a pushover who will do anything to make other people happy. I know that's not totally true because sometimes I tell my friends "no" to stuff I don't want to or can't do. But today my coworkers and I were talking about arguing with their boyfriends and how they argue. I started thinking about how I argue and I realized I have no idea. Why? Because I don't ever argue with people. Ever. It's not that I'm never mean or anything (I've yelled at strangers before... while I'm driving... once...) but I just don't remember the last time I argued with anybody.

Jared and I don't argue, we have deep discussions. I realize that this may change sometime in the future, but for now it is how we are. I never argue with my friends because usually if I don't agree with them about something, I mull it over until I decide it isn't worth arguing over. And usually it isn't. There just isn't much in this world that I find is worth arguing over. I guess maybe I'm just a big ole pacifist. What's wrong with that? Nothing.

Once when I was 12 at summer camp, I got into a "fight" with another girl in my cabin. This girl was, well, a 12 year old bitch. She was one of those girls that you just know when she grows up nobody will like her, but they'll all be nice to her out of fear. For some odd reason I decided to stand up to her. Everyone else in the cabin, who felt the same way as me and was supposed to have my back, pretended they didn't know what was going on. Then she hit me. Twice, in the arm. I don't know why, but I didn't hit her back. It didn't hurt, so I shrugged her off. I've always wished I had hit her back, but I didn't and I guess that's how I've always been. I've never hit another person out of anger (except my brothers, and that doesn't count).

Maybe I am a pushover, but I'm happy. I don't have a problem with compromising so that my friends are happy. I thought that generally everybody liked me. I don't mean that to sound snotty or anything, but I can't name anyone who would count me as an "enemy" or who doesn't like me.

At least that's what I thought.

This past weekend, while Jared and I were at the beach, the "mafia" as it is called, at the Brush, decided to start rumors about him and I. See, Jared is the "assistant" manager. We have been dating since way before he ever became a manager. It has never been a problem that he is dating me though. Not until this weekend. See there are 3 girls who work there who have crappy lives. Why? Because they put themselves into stupid situations. Since they are unhappy with life, they resent people who are happy, like me. For the past 3 weeks we have been seriously understaffed at the Brush, and everyone has had to work extra, myself included. Now since I had paid for our beach trip 2 months ago, I wasn't going to back out on it just because the Brush needed people. So we went. Which means pretty much everyone else had to work. The thing is, it was a weekend so everyone has to work anyways. One girl had asked off for Friday night. The reason? Because she had taken off of her day job and just wanted to be off to do nothing. No excuse, just that. So Jared denied her request. And we went to the beach. I guess that made her mad because she and the other two "mafia" members decided to tell our big boss that Jared and I were always playing favorites. And that we were always "making out" in the salad cooler.

I can count the number of times we have "made out" in the salad cooler on less than one finger. I guess to the unknowing eye it might look like he plays favorites with me. But he doesn't. See, Jared doesn't let me get away with ANYTHING. If I was to slack on something, he wouldn't hesitate to tell me. Also, when we are short handed and he needs me to work an extra night or two, he always begs me to work. And I usually do. We have mutual respect for each other in that way. I don't get away with anything, but I don't try to get away with anything.

Also, I'm nice to everyone there. I have never done a mean or spiteful thing to anyone who works with me. That's why I don't understand hateful people.

Luckily, our head boss didn't really believe the rumors. She did ask a couple people about it, who she knew wouldn't lie, and they both told her the truth (which is that nothing goes on).

Now I know that most people are going to tell me to quit. But that would just be giving up. We were both pretty pissed about these rumors. Rather than succomb to these rumors and try to act like we are not dating even though everyone knows we are, we're going to act like nothing happened at all. In fact we were thinking of making it blantantly obvious that we couldn't care less. That's what I'm trying to do. I'm going to be as bitchy to them as I can, while still being overly sweet and not caring about stupid stuff.

We'll see what happens this weekend.


KariBeri said...

Man.. I hate those kind of chics! They never learn, and they will never realize that their lives wont get any better by acting that way. You are not a push over, you are just a mature person who knows when to pick her battles.

Joan said...

I wouldn't worry about being too nice. In the end, I think niceness, class, maturity, etc. wins out. I have to be around someone who gossips, creates drama, and loves telling people off. I hate it. Good luck with As the Brush Turns.

Carmen said...

As your friend for some 10 or 11 years, I can attest to the fact that you don't argue. Also, I know those girls, and your assesment is completely true. I'm glad that you know it's cause they're unhappy with their own lives. I'm sorry I haven't commented in so long. I've been missing you here lately.

Allison said...

i miss you too.