Wednesday, June 14, 2006

dear brush patrons...

To all the potential patrons of the brush, a list of dos and don'ts:

1. DO make reservations to come in after your daughter's high school graduation with 30 of your closest friends at 10:00 p.m. when you know the restaurant closes at 11:00, but be sure to only ACTUALLY bring 19 people who straggle in one at a time until 10:30 when you are finally ready to order.

2. DON'T simply take your drink that the bartender has made for you. DO complain many times to your server that it tastes like water and needs more alcohol.

3. DO order about 17 DIFFERENT items so that the kitchen has to dirty every single dish that they've already had washed once that night.

4. DON'T watch your kids to make sure they aren't running all over the restaurant acting like assholes. After all, the servers are also getting paid to babysit.

5. DO spill a drink.

6. DO smoke in the non-smoking section since "no one else is around, ya'll"

7. DON'T clean up your wrapping paper and card envelopes from your gifts.

8. DEFINITELY DON'T tip your server more than the standard 15%.

9. DO jokingly tell your server you wanted to go to IHOP while giving her your exact 15%.

10. DO wait until 11:45 (45 minutes after restaurant closes) to leave.

11. DO call in an hour later to ask if someone has found the car title and $400.00 you misplaced.

12. DO show up at the restaurant at 8 am the next morning to dig through our dumpster after you've already made three cooks dig through it the night before looking for the car title and $400.00 you misplaced. And then DO claim that you found a TOGO box with the car title sitting on top of the dumpster with NO $400.00 in it.

13. DO call the regional brush manager that day and tell him you want Allison, the other waitress that was helping her, AND the hostess who helped clean up all fired for stealing your $400.00.

14. DON'T listen when the regional manager tells you there's no way in hell he'll be firing us because you lost your $400.00.


Katie said...

DO be sure to check out the Brokeback Cowboy painting on the wall while you're there.

That guy is an idiot. I bet he found the car title later that night and just said that he found it in the dumpster that morning.

Allison said...

that's what we're thinking. i bet the daughter pocketed the $400.00 and then told them all she lost it so she could get more.

sam said...

That really sucks. People are cunts, that's all I can really say.

Anonymous said...

i hate all people.