Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The one with the What Ifs...

Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I had taken different steps in life. Like, what if I had chosen to go to UNCG instead of Appalachian? Would I have ventured into Geography? Probably not. I would probably be teaching history somewhere in the Triangle area of NC. I would probably be closer with Brad but rarely ever see Carmen. I obviously would never have met some of my friends here, like Katie and Andrea and Stephen. And I certainly wouldn't know Jared. I probably wouldn't be a home owner yet because I wouldn't have had Andrea's homeowner influence. I wouldn't have my two awesome kitties, because apartments generally don't like that. I'm sure I would have found some guy to hang around with, maybe date, but I bet he wouldn't be permanent. I'd probably be driving a different car too, because I would most likely not have picked a Saturn. Why not? Because the reason I picked a Saturn was from driving my brothers to and from Hickory while he was away at boot camp. I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to commute to Greensboro from Kannapolis.

What if I had gone to App, but hadn't chosen break up with Joe F? He was a nutcase, but he was crazy about me. I was into him too, but I took him for granted. In the end the religion and jealousy got in the way. But what if I had been mature enough to handle things differently and to actually give some back instead of refusing to change any? Would I have married him? Would he have gone to medical school like he said he would? Would I be one of those yuppy doctor's wives (not to say that all doctor's wives are yuppies, but I bet I would be) who ended up completely resenting her husband for never being around and then ultimately cheating on him? Would we have kids? Would they be nuts like him? I bet I would have even quit my job and been a stay at home mom. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I would much rather be a stay at home mom than send my kids to daycare, but that's a long way down the road.

What if I had gone to App and did end up in Hickory, but never worked at the Brush? I wouldn't be able to afford a mortgage. I would probably move from Andrea's into a crappy apartment now that she's leaving. I wouldn't have my two awesome kitties. I would be poor all the time (not like that's any different). I would have a lot less friends. I would go out a lot more and spend all my money on beer and stuff. I wouldn't be able to afford clothes or any of my fun accessories. I would never get to go on vacation. And I certainly wouldn't know Jared... Or would I? Would our paths have crossed if we didn't work together? Would I randomly meet him at a bar one night? What would I have thought of him if I just saw him on the street? I probably wouldn't have taken a second glance. Nor would he. I'd probably still be stuck with old what's his name from 2 years ago. Or I'd still be dating boys off the internet *shudder*.


The point is, I'm happy with my choices. I'm happy I went to Appalachian. I'm happy I broke up with Joe F. I'm happy I work at the Brush, and I'm happy I'm doing what I'm doing. Now, what step do I take next?

6 comments:

Sam said...

Yeah, a lot of times I think about how different I'd be if I had gone to college. I probably would've gone to UNCC with all my friends and I'd probably have learned to be a much more sociable person ('cause you know, that's where all the shy, nerdy high school kids come out of their shells.) Who knows how many friends I would've made or if I'd even still be friends with the people I knew in high school. I probably would've majored in graphic design or something else artistic. I wouldn't be working in computers and I probably wouldn't have time to waste typing this right now.

KariBeri said...

Its all fate my friend! I have thought about how things would be if I didnt go down the path that I did. I went thru some horrible experiences when I lived in The Springs, but I would of never of met up with Kirk if I didnt go thru what I did. And if I never woudl have moved down south, I would probably still be working at my old dispatch job dealing with bitter angry and just plain mean female coworkers. I think you are doing well so far kiddo.. Just follow your heart and dont be afraid to take chances.

Joan said...

I'm glad you went to App, too. I think about that kind of thing especially considering I met David there. If Rob had not listed Katie's blog in the carnival I wouldn't have met her and you. I wouldn't have Chloe, etc etc.

Carmen said...

i only have a minute to comment, but i can't even think about all those things. you were supposed to go to app with me. and joe was stupid. and i love you. thank you so much for all you did last night, and just for being there.

Marie said...

Look back, but not too much. Just be grateful you are where you are...
AND NEVER REGRET GOING TO APP ;)

Carmen Eckard said...

i just reread this blog and again i feel the need to comment and say that joe was a damned idiot, and you dodged a bullet.