Muffin Top.

LOLCats.

Who do I love most? Or who is lucky enough..

Howdy Ho Neighborinos!

Today I had to fill out my life insurance form for my job.

Let me just ask this: Who decided that only 2 people can be listed as my primary beneficiaries?

I mean really! I have 3 nieces and 4 parents. I have a boyfriend/future husband. I have a lot of close friends. Why must I chose only 2 people? Makes me feel guilty to not choose some people. I guess it will be easier once I'm married with a child of my own.

For now, I just put my two youngest nieces and then listed my third as a secondary beneficiary. Jared will make the cut once we get married, but for now, he just gets all my stuff :D.

Got a huge big thing coming up in the next few days that I can't talk about on here, but man, is it making me butterfly-tummy-alicious.

Short Little Arms

So, I have recurring nightmares. Only, they're not your standard recurring nightmares. When most people think of recurring nightmares, they think of having the same nightmare over and over again. My recurring nightmares are always different except for one, major, similarity in them: T-Rex.

Yep, T-Rex, the prehistoric dinosaur. T-rex, the giant man-eating beast that died out millions of years ago. That T-Rex. He's always chasing me, always finds me. He can sniff me out no matter where I'm hiding.

Last night I had another T-Rex dream. Me and my lesbian girlfriend (I don't know, weird dream) were running around trying to find places where T-Rex couldn't find us.

Eventually, we ended up in a boat, which is a new one for my nightmares (so is being a lesbian). Turns out, T-Rex can't swim. At least he can't according to my sub-conscious. Those short little arms are not conducive to swimming. Not even the doggie paddle.

Fuzzy Things

Carmen and I were riding around in the car today and decided to make a list of the things that make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside...

Here is my list (Some of these may be the same as Carmen's)

Things that make me feel warm and fuzzy inside:

-Linking to Things From My Blog Nothing better than that feeling that comes from giving people, places, and things that credit they deserve.

-Organizing My Pictures and Documents Okay, so I'm just getting started with doing this, and I already feel better about myself :D

-Clean Sheets Admittedly, I'm pretty lazy about washing my sheets. I won't even tell you how lazy because then you'll be so disgusted with me you'll never read my blog again. Let's just say, more than once a year.

-Warm Pajamas Come on, is there anything better when it's cold outside than putting on pajamas straight out of the dryer? I didn't think so.

-Kitty Lovin' I love it when Meatwad and Beefcake are kind enough to grace me with a nuzzle here and there.

-Moose Tracks and Chunky Monkey Ice Cream Enough said.

-Working hard all day, and then coming home to a couch and a task free evening

-Starbucks Mochachinnos

-Flying Across Country Gotta love seeing snow capped mountains and landing in 80 degree weather.

-Going Swimming on a Hot Day

-Hugging my Jared

Mid Year Resolutions

Finally got my laptop yesterday!

As a first time laptop owner, I would like to make a few mid-year resolutions. The purpose of me getting a laptop was not only so I could screw around even more on the internet, but also to get more organized.

I resolve to:
-Itunes-ize my favorite CDs so I can hear them on my ipod. Have I mentioned I've had an ipod for years (I have an old-school shuffle) but I've been too lazy to put my CD's into Itunes format?

-FINALLY organize and categorize my multitudes of digital pictures that are scattered every which way and loose on my desktop.

-Keep a spreadsheet with a budget (HAHAHAHA this one may not last...)

-Keep a food journal (definitely won't last)

-Post blogs more often from home. The reason I rarely blog on days other than Wednesdays, Thursdays or Fridays is because those are the only days I sit in an office. Blogging from home is cumbersome because my desktop computer is in my bedroom, upstairs, in the heat, and away from the tv.

-Be more organized in general. :)

There we go. Let's see if I can pull these off.

Anti-Aging and smells like Jelly Beans!

Wanna know what the most awesome stuff in the world is?



This:





















This is the stuff that keeps me from turning into a dried up lobster on Mondays and Tuesdays (aka GPS day). It works really well and it smells like jelly beans! I love smelling my arm and it smells like jelly beans.

Yesterday was a particularly nasty GPS day as it was round about 100 degrees in Morganton where I was GPSing. I am really not meant to be outside in that junk. I was WORN out when I got home and just had to eat ice cream so I wouldn't die.

Of course, the ice cream would have been even better with jelly beans on top.

My Weekend Went a Lot Like This...

Current Events

-It is hot. Not just hot, DAMN hot.
I was outside all day on Tuesday and other than being sweaty, I was fine. But yesterday, just walking from the office to my car, the heat got to me. I was uber-nauseous as soon as I sat down in my car. This wasn't helped by the fact that it is a 30 minute commute from the office to my house. By the time I got home, all I could fathom was lying on the couch and napping with my head in Jared's lap. He's so good to me. We had planned on going to the driving range for a fun date night. I had to cancel that. He was nice about and let me nap then took me out to dinner anyways. Love him. Then we went home and watched Superbad, which is the funniest movie I've seen in a long time.

-Apparently I have new neighbors. The condo next to me has been empty for 2 years. This has been awesome, because it means I haven't had to worry about being real loud or having extra people to visit (they could park in that space). Well on Tuesday night Carmen's Jon noticed people going in and out of that condo and we saw, well, rednecks. The woman I saw was about 3 beers short of a mullet. The truck? A beat up old thing with a nice primer and spraypaint color job, with a bojangles cup on top. Nice. *sigh* I was hoping it would stay empty forever.

-I am still painting in my kitchen. I'm taking my time with the cabinets, removing each door, unscrewing the hardware, and then putting on 2 coats of primer and 2 coats of paint. After I'm finished with the top cabinet doors, I'll work on the trim around the cabinets. No hurry though. I like having an ongoing home improvement project. When I'm done with the kitchen, I'll work on my downstairs bathroom (the pirate bathroom).

Stolen from Carmen, Who Stole it from Leesepea

I'm copying Carmen's survey, only I'm changing the rules, I'm only going to use pics from my flickr. I think...

1: Favorite Food?


Steak. Medium Rare Steak. Red Meat. It also helps if there's a heaping pile of homemade mashed potatoes or Carmen's baked potatos too (just like she made for Jared and I last night).

2: Least favorite food?

Seafood. Who would want to eat that?

3: Favorite thing?
Hard to say, I guess right now I will go with my cameras.




4: Least Favorite Thing?

*Shudders*

6: A phobia?
Besides spiders..

Heights.. scare the bejesus out of me.

7: An addiction?

Chocfee, coffee and chocolate, every weekday.

Just Say No! To Shoestrings.

I noticed last night that I don't have very many pairs of shoes with shoestrings. Well, I do, but only because I have so many pairs of shoes. I only have a couple of pairs that I sometimes wear that have strings.

Both the pairs of sneakers that I often wear are shoestring-less. This makes me happy.

Shoestrings are annoying. You have to bend over. You have to use finger muscles. You have to remember what order to use the strings in!

Therefore, I've decided to break free the world of strings!

From now on, I'm not buying any shoes that require me to tie strings together!

The only shoes with strings that I might occasionally wear are these:


and these:


But only occasionally, since they are made for flat-footed people and I have arches.

Thank you, JK Rowling.

In the past three years, I have become a reader. I am proud of this fact.

All through school and growing up, I was always a non-reader. I just was not interested in wasting time reading when I could be watching television and/or playing with my Barbies.

Sure, I participated in Bookit, but I never got very far with it. In high school, I was always adamently against the required readings for Advanced English. Sure, I still read (most of) them, but I usually resented these books and hated them simply for the fact that I was forced to read them.

But really, look at some of the crap I was forced to read:
-Siddhartha (worst book ever! I was also supposed to read this in college, but I used SparkNotes instead)
-A Seperate Peace (this one was alright, I suppose)
-The Old Man and the Sea (seriously?)
-1984 (was kind of interesting, but only in parts)
-The Jungle (who doesn't love learning all about Socialism in the early 1900's?)
-Things Fall Apart (oh good, I always wanted to know about wrestling in South Africa)
-The Scarlet Letter (a classic, but I chose to watch the movie instead)
-Ellen Foster (this one was good because it was like 4 pages long)
-Jude the Obscure (I really don't know what this was about, I didn't bother reading it and dropped the class before school started)

There are plenty more crappy books I was supposed to read in college too, but I've blocked them out.

Looking back on it, the reason I didn't want to read these was not only because I was being forced (and most are really awful), but I also didn't want to read them because at the time it seemed like so much work. I just was not interested in reading at all.

But then a few years ago I watched the first two Harry Potter movies with my brother. I had heard of Harry Potter, but I wasn't really fascinated with it until I saw the movies. My brother suggested if I liked the movies, I should read the books.

I lazied around a while. Finally I was visiting a friend in Durham and he had the first three Harry Potter books and told me I should borrow them. I did, and I was instantly hooked. I read the first three within a month and borrowed the next two from the library. The sixth book came out two weeks before I finished the fifth book, so I got to read that one too. It was really nice being able to read the first six books all back to back.

After finishing those, I found myself needing to read more. I stuck to what I wanted to read, pirate books. I read a whole lot of pirate books, and a few romance novels. Then I kind of slumped off of reading again.

As the time for the final Harry Potter book to be published drew near, I decided to reread all of the first six books. This is when I became truly hooked on reading.

After finishing the final Harry Potter book, I have been pretty much reading something or other ever since. At first it was Patricia Cornwell novels, because that's what Jared already had. Now, I find myself pretty much reading anything that's a novel. I like the suspense books mostly.

I like being a reader. It's cool. And it makes me feel smarter. This is why JK Rowling is so deserved of my thanks. Thank you.

finally!

I'll be able to sit on my couch AND waste time on the internet- ALL AT ONCE!

I finally bit the bullet and ordered a laptop. I decided instead of buying two black night stands for my bedroom, to go ahead and spend the rest of my stimulus check towards a laptop. Yippee! The best part is, I don't have to mess around with setting up the wireless intarnet in my house because Carmen did that long ago so she could harp off mine in her condo.

Here it is.

Of course, I chose the lovely spring green color, to match my phone and my ipod (just like Katie with pink!). Also, I added a DVD burner so I could be part of this century.

Yay for spending more money than I should. And when that's paid off, maybe I'll boost my text messaging so I can get Twitter updates on my phone again. We'll see.

How I celebrated Memorial Day.

I think I just completed the laziest weekend ever! Hooray me!
Friday night Jared and I went grocery shopping, then out to eat, then to the movies to see Indiana Jones. This movie is freaking awesome by the way.

Shia LeBeouf is hot!

Saturday I did a little painting (trim) in my kitchen, in between episodes of Flip That House. I still have a ways to go, in the cabinet department.

Sunday I cleaned house a little, in between watching movies on TBS and such.

Monday I took down the painter's tape in the kitchen, in between episodes of CSI Miami. Then I went to non-Trivia (hey, whatdoyaknow, McGuire's is closed!).

There you go, I'm lazy and I'm okay with it.

Today I was miserable in the humid heat, and then the downpour.

Scrumdidilyumptious

You know who makes the best mashed potatoes? Carmen.

Yesterday I left work early because I felt just plain awful. I got home and hung out on the couch til five (boy was that nice). Then, Carmen called and said we were grilling out!

So we grilled out BBQ chicken, corn and mashed potatoes. Okay, we didn't really grill the mashed potatoes, but you get the drift. Man they were yummy.

Then we watched Cloverfield, which is even better the second time around. Good stuff.

And last night I forgot to set my alarm so I was groggily startled out of bed when I suddenly opened my eyes and the clock said 8:00. Oops.

Tonight will be fun, Jared and I are going to see Indiana Jones and go grocery shopping. Yay!

This weekend? I'm going to finish painting my kitchen walls, darn it!

Hump Day.

It's gotten to the point where Wednesdays are my favorite day of the week. Why? Because it means I don't have to GPS anymore until next Monday.

Mondays I don't even GPS that much anymore, but I'm with THE REPEATER all day so it's just as stressful and gut-wrenchingly annoying (and not just because he repeats).

Tuesdays I'm putting in hard work outside all day doing the GPS thing and I am always flat-out exhausted and nasty when I get home. And? Now that it's summer it's worse. I have to deal with heat, sweat and the added loveliness of ticks.

I've always thought that every animal has a purpose in this world, but ticks? None. I found 2 on me last week. I'm sure there were a couple on me at some point this week too.

Let's not forget poison ivy, too. *Shudder*

Also, Tom (my GPS partner on Tuesdays, who is awesome) saw a five foot snake yesterday. Gah!

So then on Tuesday nights I always come home, shower, and sit my ass on the couch in my pajamas. Then I feel lazy. But Wednesdays are great.

Wednesdays mean I can sit at my desk for the next three days and not worry about being outside. I can blog, and read your blogs. I can email Katie. I can do all the wonderful time-wasting internet activities that I can squeeze into the day.

And I also do a tiny bit of work in there too.


Anywho. I'm just bitchin cause I can :)

Happy Wednesday, ya'll!

Lesson Learned

Lessons I learned over the weekend:

1. You are not fireproof.
2. You are not waterproof.
3. Murphy's Law mandates that if you leave on a journey with plenty of time to get there, you WILL get stuck in a traffic jam within 10 minutes of leaving your house.
4. Your Mexican friend really is that creepy, it's not just what your other friends think.
5. If you wake up and don't remember laying down the night before, you might have puke on your shirt.
6. You AREN'T that good at Taboo when you can't see the cards in front of your face.
7. You should NEVER go to Bob Evans the morning after drinking 3 beers and like, 7 rum & sprites.
8. The inside of Brad's toilet is not a friendly place.
9. You are NOT 21 anymore.
10. Brad rules.

A Poem About Eric Tucker

by Allison, circa 1995ish

Blood hot water in a boiling pan.
It could burn the flesh of his long, slender hand.
He walked outside in the cold winter air.
Wondering if his love is something he should share.
The girl loves him, he's not sure why.
Will she love him until she dies?
His hair is swimming as he walks down the street,
Hearing his heart as it loudly beats.
Her heart only bares compassion for him.
His romantic ways fill it up to the rim.
Does he like her? I think so.
But only he can ever know.

*finger snapping* *finger snapping* *finger snapping*


p.s. If you've ever wondered where the '520' in my screen name comes from, here's the story. For like 3 solid years in middle and high school I was in L.O.V.E. with Eric Tucker (who did not share this feeling, I guess- I never told him of my undying teenage love). Instead of talking about him outright to my friends, I used code.

5 for 'E' because it's the fifth letter of the alphabet,
and 20 for 'T' because it's the twentieth letter.

So, 520 became my favorite/lucky number. It got stuck and now it's here for good.

Teehee!

Holy Carp!!! (yes, I know it says carp)

Joan got me thinking about sharks today. So I visited one of my favorite blogs to visit when I'm bored, Swimatyourownrisk.com.

And came across this video of the stupidest man on Earth.

Insted of embeding it, I'm linking to it because videos never work on my site for some reason.

Enjoy.

4th grade poetry..

I like to think of this as my most shining achievement in penmanship.

"Bovine Premonitions" by Allison circa early-to-mid 1990's:

Oh How
Oh How
Oh How
Did I wake up as a cow?

Am I white with black spots?
Or black with white polkadots?

Oh, I was just dreaming.


*finger snapping**finger snapping**finger snapping*


More to come tomorrow.

OOps...

I kind of sort of maybe accidentally broke an expensive piece of equipment which one of my towns was borrowing from my regular office..

Oops.

I found a replacement part on line for $120.00 which is way less than I thought it would be.. but still. If my town boss will EVER come in today maybe we can talk about it.. And hope he has some extra money in the budget :D